Patty here. Under what magical trickery do you suppose you are sitting there, fingers thick with Cheetos dust, pant-less and carefree, while reading my wonderful words? It must be that the internet beams into your device, be it a phone, tablet, or computer, from servers somewhere, in some nebulous, hidden bunker. And you'd suppose that this infinite stream of data passes into a nether realm where it can cross air and ocean with ease? The truth is your factoid for today, kind vegetarians and distasteful tasters of my innocent kin. Your precious (do your best Golem impersonation here) internet actually travels under the ocean itself, on something called Submarine Cables. It's true that most internet traffic passes through the Uniteed States of Murica, but it also hits every other corner of the globe, and to do so, to make such a trek, it goes deep underwater, crossing the oceans in a great network of physical cables. Similar cables were first put down there as early as the mid-1800's for telegraph machines, where they spread a messaging style later stolen by--you guessed it--the internet. Ancient LOL and ROFL, you might call it, with coded expressions and abbreviated phrases to save space. Today everything's fibre optics, heavily maintained, and rumoured to be compromised by governments at various points for the purpose of data collection. Regardless, this is how you get your weird Japanese cat videos and clips of Russian drivers killing each other off on some kind of wild west highway system. Personally, I'm all about the baby sloths.
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